Sometimes, we do not have the strength to get out of bed. Sometimes, our heart crumbles at the thought of our deepest remorse. As human beings, it is only natural that we spend entire days on either our past or future. We barely pay heed to our present, only to learn that it has become distant to us.
The 7 rules of life have been extracted from a Japanese animated movie called “whisper of the heart.” This romantic film written by Hiyao Miyazaki is a perfect portrayal of the conundrum and anxiety that people can face in love, passion, practicality, and growing age.
These 7 rules would be able to help you during the constant struggle between remorse and reality, abysmal despair, and heartbreak that you cannot get over. These rules would stick by your side and keep you sane for life. Here are the 7 rules of life to guide you through your woes and remorse.
1. Make peace with your past so it won’t mess with your future
Truth be told, human beings are a slave to the past. No matter how hard we try, we cannot dump our older realities and move on to the next phase of life. We barely accept that we are no longer the person we once were. We are in constant remorse for changing. Sometimes we outgrow our friends or the place that we were born in. Guilt fills our gut when we realize that.
Anxiety grips us. Struggling to fit in the old world seems more attractive than letting these connections dissolve. As human beings, we are prone to changes. Our outer world changes so does our inner world. Happiness emerges when one accepts this reality. The simple reality that people change.
The person we love changes, our friends change and most astonishingly, we change. If you still ponder upon how the person you knew for years changed in a heartbeat, cut yourself some slack. Understand that only change is constant. Let go of the past. No matter how good it felt, do not daydream about the past and secretly hope for your present to be “normal”. This is your new normal. Accept that.
Another aspect of letting go of the past rises from regret. If you think about ” how this should have been this, not that”, let go of that feeling as well. Months back, I heard this quote from Bojack horseman that goes “Time’s arrow neither standstills nor reverses. It simply marches forward.”
Similarly, you should let go of your older baggage and march forward with your new reality or you would miss out on the good gifts you have today. Everything in this world has an expiry date; so does your past. Time to toss your past out of the window.
2. Time heals everything, so give it time
Whoever said this, got his game right. Time does heal everything. Now, maybe you want faster results. You want to move on from the hurt in a heartbeat. However, there is no shortcut to healing like there is no shortcut to losing weight.
In that time, however, you can contemplate on your feelings, understand where the thing went wrong and focus on your progress. Be it starting to exercise or writing a novel, set a goal for yourself. A goal that would make you feel accomplished. After a certain time, you would realise how faster you are getting over the hurt. As a gift, you get to see yourself in the best version.
3. What others think of you is none of your business.
Worried that you would be a laughing stock if you follow your heart? Chances are, you would still be one for not doing so. Often, we are more critical of ourselves than anybody else in the world. Truth be told, nobody is constantly throwing limelight on us and judging each of our moves with a magnifying glass. Therefore, feel free.
Even if others are holding a magnifying glass on you, know that people are likely to talk. This life is yours and nobody would incur the loss as you do. Hence, stop considering their judgment. Be the Queen (or king) of your own life.
4. Do not compare your lives to others
Every single individual has a different set of life experiences, different goals and different time to process things. Comparing yourself to others would only bring misery and self-loathing. Know that each person has to struggle.
Recognize that maybe you are one step ahead in some other struggle compared to the person before you. Empathize. Compliment people on their strengths. Learn from their experiences rather than delving into comparison. Deciding to do something about your shortcomings would make you proactive.
5. Stop thinking so much, it’s alright to not know everything
Somebody once said that your learning stops when you feel like you know it all. Therefore, if you feel like you are not aware of many things, do not despair. You only embark on the journey, if you have something to pursue.
6. No one is in charge of your happiness, except you
Like everything else, we need to root for happiness. Nobody is going to bring that to our table. We need to dig deeper into our hearts to discover where our happiness lies.
Cut off anything that stands between you and happiness. Expecting someone else or something else to induce happiness delays your path to happiness.
7. Smile, for you, do not own all the problems in the world
Lastly, be grateful. Know that you are not the only one with problems. Some deal with famine, some roll in poverty and others are so oblivious that they barely acknowledge their flaws. Smile and be aware of all the good things you have in life. A gratitude journal may help you remember that.
Bottom Line
There is no correct or a single way to seek happiness. However, with these 7 mantras, you can get a headstart. When trying these, do not rush. Have faith in the process. You will heal before you realize.