You must have heard this a lot of times already but let’s repeat it anyway – Anger is a vice. It does not solve anything and it changes nothing, but surely manages to ruin everything at times. All you need to do is hold on to your last bit of patience to solve yourself from thousand days of sorrow when you are about to lose control out of anger.
Anger management is a real issue in many people and we often decide to turn a blind eye to it, not realizing that the emotion, the hard feelings is creeping inside us in a detrimental manner. It can be a challenge to deal with your anger, and even harder to let go forever. While anger creeps slows, it can progress very fast.
And when the force takes over us, we end up losing ourselves. To help you manage your anger, or even to let it go, we have compiled a list of five strategies. Trying to adopt to these strategies can help you handle this emotion in a healthy manner, saving you from troubled future.
Recognize the source of your anger
Ask yourself the reason behind your anger- try to determine the cause. After you have done so, think if you can control the cause or not. Is it out of your hands already? Are you angry on someone you love dearly or is it on someone who is not so important? Will you ever see that person again, and does he or she matter in your life? It is different for different stakeholders.
Dealing with people you meet every day and with strangers are completely different. For on-going interactions, you need to implement some strategies like relaxing, taking time off, re-evaluating and re-organizing your thoughts before you react or express your thoughts. Sometimes, it is also alright to not express it instead of expressing it in an inappropriate tone.Â
Talk to someone about the issue
When we are mad at someone or at a situation, the power to reason within us is overshadowed by the red vice (anger). In these situations, it can be handy to reach out to a friend or family member who you can trust whole- heartedly. This person or people need to also be good listeners to understand the situation properly, take in your frustrations or venting and to provide his or her feedback.
Sometimes you can require a neutral perspective. It is important you remember who you are talking to as well because someone who is already going through a lot in their lives might not be the right person to intake your negative feelings for their mental health. Set the limits to keep the talk brief and constructive so that you can reach a solution effectively.
Practice Forgiveness and find workable solutions
You must learn to control your anger before it starts to control you and the first step to doing so is to acknowledge and own this emotion. Once you know, and have accepted your anger, you can start to practice forgiveness, which again, can vary between different personalities.
Usually, you have to reach a strong conclusion or take an active decision to let go of resentment, instead of venging. Though the reason for the anger can stick to you for a long time, or maybe even forever, forgiveness will give you a freedom, and maybe also to the person who let you down in the first place. You do not forgive to benefit only others.
You do it for yourself. You should forgive them for your own sake- for gaining back your own control on life and for moving on. You do not have to forget or excuse the mistake. You can make it clear why this is something you cannot approve of, and that you will not be able to tolerate such behaviour.
However, moving on will bring you the peace you crave for. It can also be an idea to sit together with the people involved to work out a viable solution, one that can work mutually. Maybe then it can even be possible to let go of the entire situation and forget it.
Take a brief time out
Sometimes the same environment keeps us reminded of the cause of our anger. Seeing the same thing over and over, or the same people who are responsible for making us anger, can be stimulating the anger within us to grow further. In these situations, it may be handy to cut yourself out from those people and making a trip to a place of your choice.
This can be a new environment you want to explore or some other familiar abode you feel most comfortable in. New place, new environment and detachment from the usual can help you get a fresh perspective on situations or take a step forward towards moving on, getting past the situation and continuing with the rest of your life.
Express yourself through a journal
In the hustle of life, we often forget to stick to our old habits. Writing in a journal is one such habit. When you are mad at a situation and do not have someone to vent it to, it might be useful to write your thoughts down. Take your time, feel what you have been feeling inside and write them down. Write down what has made you angry.
What can being angry give back? How can it magnify and how can it reduce? What are the solutions? If you are mad at someone dear to you, write down how they make you happy so you can let go of the bad emotions towards them. Sometimes recounting good memories can help letting go of anger and resentment better than anything else.
Conclusion
Holding grudges never benefits anyone. It only makes everything worse. You have to understand that some situations are not within your power and there is no point wasting time instead of following the strategies we listed above to begin with.