A heartache, a trauma, an emotional pain- any remnant from the past can be hurtful to live with, and sometimes even toxic to move forward with. We are all humans, and the desire to hold on to the past is a conscious decision we cannot help refrain from most of the time.
We do not realize the effect it can have on our lives, our present and our future; on us and on our loved ones around us. Whether the pain is physical or emotion, we have to learn to deal with it, and move past it, letting go slowly, and then all at once for a healthier life ahead of us.
Past traumas or emotional set backs pose a threat to our growth and progress in life. One of the best ways to get past the past is to heal from what has been a bad memory by taking lessons from the situation and using those to focus on the forward momentum.
Today, we will take how to let go of the past and about 5 strategies towards not staying stuck with what is now a past and moving ahead with a positive outlook on life.
1. Identify your emotional habits, address them and deal with them
Many a times we let our past takeover our present by not letting it out or not identifying it as an issue in our life. We get so used to living in the past that this feels just as normal. When something is hurting you or giving you emotional wrecks, it is very important to realize the effect it is having on you and giving yourself the scope and permission to talk about it freely.
Sometimes people cannot let go of something because they are too scared or not allowed to talk about it. This can be due to situations where people around them do not want to listen about the topic anymore, or they feel too embarrassed to open up about it.
If you are in such a situation, it is recommended that you find a friend to confide on or a therapist who will be patient enough, accepting, and willing to give you the space to let it all out and brainstorm with you about dealing with the issues.
You should allow yourself the opportunity to forgive yourself or the people involved if you want to move forward with a clean slate. Forgiveness is vital for the process of healing of human minds. Seek professional help if your trauma is beyond control and if you need tips to dealing with bad memories. You may need an experienced professional to help you through the process.
2. Condition your mind, create the required distance
Sometimes our past revolves around memories with a person, a place or an environment. It is not uncommon for memories to keep coming back when you are nearby those surroundings every day. And truth is, memories, whether good or bad, if they revolve around the past we are trying to move past, hurt.
It is then good to distance yourself from the place or people who are making you upset or reminding you of things that are keeping you tied to the past. Create the psychological and physical distance between yourself and those situations to help yourself not think too much about the past, process it and eventually, move on.
3. Create some regular mantras and rituals to combat the emotions
Most of the time, we are our biggest support in healing. We are our own closure. Create a mantra for yourself, with which you can help yourself reframe your thoughts whenever reminded of the emotional pain. This mantra must be something positive.
Instead of feeling sorry or pity at yourself for being a prey to such a hurtful situation, reorganize the mantra around telling yourself that you were fortunate enough to have realized what is not good for you and what needs to be erased from your life before it was too late.
Practice regular rituals or mindfulness to take your time off from everything around, focusing on the present feeling the freedom of working towards the future, and how to respond to your lives.
4. Focus on what you can control and invest in yourself
You are important and also the best place for investment. It is important to think about how you can refrain yourself from being around the situations that have hurt you. Focus on something you can make better within yourself and something you are grateful for.
You need to be very gentle towards yourself, allowing yourself to realize that you deserve kindness, love and compassion. Stop making comparisons of your journey with that of others.
Everyone is fighting his or her own storms, and to everyone their own struggle is the worst. Hence, it is imperative to engage in self-love and self-care, doing what you love, enjoy and what you practically need.
This can look like setting proper boundaries, learning to say ‘no’ when you want, doing things that can bring you comfort and happiness and listening to your own needs above everything else. Make yourself your priority.
5. Surround yourself with positivity
Our surroundings have the greatest impact on our wellbeing, especially when we are trying to move past the past. Surrounding yourself with people who can fill you up with comfort and support can exceptionally help you get through the most difficult steps of moving on.
Rely on your support system of friends and family who truly care about you, celebrate small victories, share and exchanges ideas, engage in activities with them that make you happy and stop limiting yourself by shutting yourself off. Be around those who remind you of the good around you and help you stay hopeful of a better future.
Final Words
To conclude, if you want to learn how to let go of the past, you need to allow yourself to have the power to control and to make the conscious, strong decision of taking control of your situation and moving past it. It will not easy or fast, but once you try, it will surely happen.